The Devil Does Not Cut His Own Grass

In AD 325, at the First Council of Nicaea, many of the bishops came together to consolidate all of the stories of the many versions of the bible that were circulating at the time. A little know fact is that a bishop from a small village in western France, Bishop Francois Pas-un-vrai-type had offered up a suggested book that was quickly shot down. It was a story of how the devil did not cut his own grass in Hell. At the time, his village of Facile à Tromper widely believed the story of how the Devil had minions who would cut his lawn because, and I quote, “It was just too damn hot in hell”. All the other bishops discounted this claim and it was agreed that Satan did in fact cut his own grass. It was believed that because of how OCD he was with how it was cut, he wouldn’t have trusted anyone else to do it.

I can honestly say that I agree with Bishop Francois. I cut the grass today in Austin and it was 100+ degrees and I dont think even the Dark Lord himself would have been out there cutting his own grass.