Each summer, my wife and I pick a few TV series to binge watch. Im more of an action, sci-fi kind of guy. She’s more of a coming-of-age, drama kind of gal. But we always find a happy medium. I’m on my 24th time watching Star Trek Enterprise all the way through and she has only watched it one time with me so far.

So, at the beginning of the summer, my wife tells me she is watching a quaint little TV show from the 90’s called “Party of Five”. If you know me, I’d rather pull my toenails out with a rusty pair of pliers every night. Well, I value spending any time I can with her so just about every night I lay down and we watch 2-3 episodes. I busted her chops at the beginning because the show really didn’t appeal to me but in true Stockholm Syndrome fashion, I found myself watching. My little remarks turned into “So, what has Bailey been up to?” or “Did Charlie get a new girl yet?”. I realized that I knew a little too much about the show. Time to bring myself back to reality and explain exactly what this show is about.

So, without further ado, here is everything you need to know about Party of Five.

  • If you live in San Francisco, you can own a big house on a popular street and never worry about money, even if you don’t have parents.
  • Not enough Jennifer Love Hewitt.
  • The show should have been called “He/She has a point” because just about every line on the show can be followed with that phase.
  • Claudia went from snot to hot in like 3 episodes.
  • Charlie likes strippers.
  • During Claudia’s snot time, she was really the entire problem with the family. If they would have put her up for adoption, the family would have never had any problems. She was the antagonist in the series until the final season.
  • Owen was irrelevant.
  • Bailey, a 20 year old alcoholic, is allowed to own a bar.
  • Not enough Jennifer Love Hewitt.
  • The song “In the Night” by the Weeknd was written about Kristin in the final season.
  • Infidelity is celebrated, marriage is minimized, alcoholism brings people together and kids are basically the cause of all issues. Oh yeah, stripping is acceptable. As long as you have a issue with depression.
  • Julia is an idiot with really bad hair and a big forehead. They could have advertised on her forehead and used the money to keep Jennifer Love Hewitt another season.
  • Everyone has a point and no matter how old they get, they all act like whiny teenagers.